Saturday, December 4, 2010

Nov. 27, 2006

5:53am
A-20. Gate A-20. I am waiting to board the flight that will essentially change my life. Not the flight itself. but my destination and my purpose for being there. 5 weeks and unwed.
At church (coincidentally) Mark said children are a blessing.
Right now, I'm really not seeing it. Neither is Andy. His lack of faith is so hurtful. Its not that he lacks faith in me- or he doesn't say it. But his faith in God falters. Heartbreaking. Either way, about 35 weeks to go and I'm not ready. April continuously tells me
For the Lord has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a stong mind
I cannot stop living life because I am having a baby.
I dont want to cry myself to sleep anymore. But many tears will be shed this week. Mainly today.
But Now I am so self conscious, there are about 20 pairs of eyes watching me. I can be self conscious or shall I show them confidence?

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